that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
there is glitter all over my balls
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