I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
