She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize