how can u be prego again
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
