Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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