So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
