Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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