He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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