Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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