you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
