This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize