She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
