id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
