I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
