DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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