I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Randomize
