are you so shy because you have an std?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
