i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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