btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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