Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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