Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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