yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
