32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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