But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
