..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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