Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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