Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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