Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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