That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
