its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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