If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
