Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
