Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
