Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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