Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
