i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
