why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
So squirting runs in the family.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
