i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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