i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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