the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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