They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
