life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
