so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
time to smoke my breakfast
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
