there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
it's great music for shaving your balls
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
