Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
