Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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