Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
