Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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