If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
honey bunches of taint.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
