I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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