So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
