Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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