She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
