Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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