I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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