i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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