you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
