it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
