Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
