So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
