everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
