How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
