the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
handjob tips. give me some.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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