Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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