I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
