How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
