You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
A bitchslap is in order.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
