i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
