entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
