NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
