So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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