What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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