Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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