a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
