dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
