Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
